Understanding Shame & The Two Types of Sexual Guilt

 

Sexual shame and guilt refers to a negative response in reaction to sex, fantasy, sexuality, and/or judging others. Guilt refers to a feeling you have about something you have done and shame is about who you are or how you see yourself. Both are powerful and even addictive. Like any emotions, there is a dark unhelpful side to them, that is not necessarily present to improve your life or society in any way. When you have behaved in a way that is ethical and aligned with your values, but still feel shame and/guilt, you can know that the emotions have gone too far.

 

There are two types of sexual guilt; latent and post-coitus. The former refers to a general feeling someone has towards sexual activity, perhaps they feel that this natural instinct is a weakness in character and therefore live in denial and disagreement with their desires. The latter occurs in response to a specific event for which someone views as wrong or sinful. Depending on the individuals value system, this may mean giving into to a certain fantasy, consenting to sex you didn’t truly want, etc.

 

 

We are all born as blank slates who are naturally programmed to crave sex later in life. These feelings of physical and emotional connection are hardwired into all human babies and we grow up organically wanting connection. Therefore, it’s important to understand that sexual shame and guilt is learned…and because you have learned it, you can unlearn it.

 

Social Conditioning ;
The Great Hypnotizer without Rhyme, Reason, or Morality

 

These feelings can originate from negative messages we hear, at any time in our life, and from many possible sources:

 

• • Religion
  • Culture
  • Family
  • Peer Groups
  • Being different than those around you in any way, perhaps in fetish or orientation
  • Pornography
  • Abuse
  • Loss of virginity experience
  • General guilt or shame that you experience in others areas of your life
  • Sexual and/or dating dissatisfaction
  • The Media (news, celebrity opinions, tabloids, magazines, sex gurus, etc)
  • Sex Education Classes led by a facilitator who does not specialize in this topic

Negative Social Programming Examples

 

Men are pigs and only want one thing

You’re a slut if you have sex with more than person and no commitment

Men and women are natural together, nothing else

You will go to hell if you have sex before marriage or even masturbate to your sinful fantasies

Good girls don’t like sex

Don’t touch your privates, it’s unclean and naughty

 

My Personal Experience

 

When sexual beings (all of us) hear messages that it is wrong to be sexual, it can be confusing, frustrating, and harmful to our mental health and relationships. For example, a low libido and delayed or inability to climax are one of several symptoms that can be caused.

The reason I am passionate about both of these conditions is because I actually experienced them at different times in my life. I felt that I was letting down my partners and was causing them low self-esteem as well as myself. I felt like I was going to lose them and was frustrated because no one had any answers. I blamed myself and didn’t like who I was at all.

 

Fortunately, this is something I have been able to overcome. I look back at the era of my life before this problem was solved and it almost feels like another life. I’ve cured myself, helped many, many others and now I am here for you.

 

 

Get This Handled (Book Now)

 

Sex is an important part of life. It’s a part of a basic mechanism to reproduce, regardless of whether someone is trying to or not. A base instinct that everyone should be able to express; and a basic pleasure that everyone on this earth should be able to experience.

 

I don’t want you to feel the same emotional pain that I felt. This psychological labyrinth of confusion is not a fun place to explore.

 

I am here to walk you through the path that will offer you the most benefit.

 

Imagine the ability to enjoy your natural desires, without getting in your own way. What if you were able to just relax and live. You could express yourself to a partner without embarrassment and easily leave uncomfortable situations.

 

 

I understand that this type of ‘stuff’ can be hard to talk about. I guarantee you a place free of judgement and full of empathy. There is nothing you can tell me that I haven’t heard before. I am here to serve you and that is a privilege I take seriously.