Compulsive Behaviour or Addiction

There is a difference between healthy sex and porn use versus unhealthy addiction. Someone battling the latter may experience the following scenarios or moods:

- - - Viewing others as objects of sex
    - Lack of interest in your present relationship or meeting others
    - Employment or school problems
    - Spending more money that you mean to. Perhaps even falling victim to an online scam.
    - Spending more time that you mean to. Perhaps hours pass you by and disrupt your life.
    - Sneaking around
    - Feelings of guilt or shame
    - Sexual dysfunction issues of various kinds

If you’ve answered yes to any of the above, I want to congratulate you on seeking help. You’re in the right place.

Sex and Porn CAN be healthy

The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counsellors and Therapists reports:

‘AASECT recognizes that people may experience significant physical, psychological, spiritual and sexual health consequences related to their sexual urges, thoughts or behaviors’.

‘AASECT does not find sufficient empirical evidence to support the classification of sex addiction or porn addiction as a mental health disorder’

Consensual sex and porn consumption can be understood as healthy behaviours. I am not here to judge, criticize, or limit you in any way that works for your lifestyle. People come to me when a consensual behaviour or activity has become too distracting, disruptive, or out of control.

What is Addiction in General?

Healthline explains “addiction as a chronic dysfunction of the brain system that involves reward, motivation, and memory. It’s about the way your body craves a substance or behavior, especially if it causes a compulsive or obsessive pursuit of “reward” and lack of concern over consequences’.

Someone experiencing an addiction will:

- - - Have a very difficult time staying away from the substance or behavior
    - Display a lack of self-control
    - Have an increased desire for the substance or behavior (their need for it has grown in an seen pattern)
    - Dismiss how their behavior may be causing problems, at least until something bigger happens that cannot be easily denied
    - lack an emotional response
    - Depend on the substance, behaviour, or activity for basic function daily
    - Experience symptoms of irritation, depression, anger, or emptiness
    - Lack of hope or motivation for various areas in life
    - Social isolation and anxiety

Sex Addiction

Sex Sells. Period. It’s literally in our DNA to like sex and most people do. If you don’t, and are happy that way, that is fine as well. This section is about people who enjoy sex too much to a point that other areas of their life is damaged.

It can be perfectly healthy to have a high sex drive and to enjoy or crave sex. However if your behaviour is putting strain on yourself, partners, or family, treatment with a therapist may be right for you.

For example, an employee missing work or a student missing class because all they can think about is sex.

Sexual compulsions present differently in men and women. With exception, men often compartmentalize and are aware of the specific problems and manifestations that is connected to this behaviour. For example, their patterns may be more predictable and planned. Women tend to enact many types of new behaviour different from their norm, transcending mere sex or porn issues. In both cases, the wholistic approach lends the most success to therapy because it address all lifestyle changes, behaviours, and values.

Porn Addiction

You don’t need me to tell you how popular pornography is in the modern world. With high speed internet, HD video, dedicated production companies, and fetish focused enterprises, you know all too well how ‘celebrated’ this private ritual is across the entire globe. The last 10 years especially has produced new content at a rapid pace. Social media platforms such as Reddit, Twitter, Amazon, Kindle, and even Youtube have helped the spread of online content. Some estimate that 1 out 8 searches online are for pornography.

Pornography is enticing for so many reasons. It’s convenient, feeds our fantasies, and lacks the challenges that come with real life romance. There is no commitment, compromise or rejection. Not to mention the power, control, and simplicity that is not possible or recommended in a real life healthy relationship.

Research shows that approximately 15% of North Americans have a toxic or addictive relationship with porn but don’t seek help due to reasons of shame. I’m here to help you transcend this issue and many more.

My Personal Experience and Booking

I am passionate about helping people because this is something I dealt with for years.

I am one of those people who shouldn’t watch porn at all. This is not the path for everyone but certainly is for me. It took me many years to accept that and quit the habit.

I know what it’s like to scroll for hours, always trying to find the next best thing…only to never find it and be dissatisfied. Or to find it and still not be satisfied. I know what it’s like to be watching in public unable to control myself and risk getting in trouble at work. Not to mention how the content changed over time and went to fetishes I know weren’t true to me.

I felt jealousy, a lack of motivation in every area of my life, and didn’t like myself very much. I knew the damage it was doing to my external success and mental health BUT still could not stop.

All this can be complicated to tackle, especially if you are alone. That said, this is a private concern that is not always easy to talk about. I am here to help you to reach the goal you set for yourself. My path was sobriety but it may be something else for you. I am here to walk you through the path that will offer you the most benefit. Everything is customized to your goals, values, tolerance, and health.

I understand that this type of ‘stuff’ can be hard to talk about. I guarantee you a place free of judgment and full of empathy. There is nothing you can tell me that I haven’t heard before. I am here to serve you and that is a privilege I take seriously.